I think, sometimes, that fairytales do us a disservice with how the world has come to view them. So many of us are raised on stories of castles, and magic, and true love only to find ourselves plunged into the freezing water of a world that’s convinced itself no “real life” could honestly carry such depth of feeling. Such fantastical spark of adventure. Such potential for bliss.
And this is simply not true.
I look now at the life I’ve created and all I see is magic. All I see is a Sacred Experience. A fairytale all my own. A story written by my own hand and bound with the golden thread of a fate that I truly have a say in. All of this was possible because I infused my life with things like this self-love ritual.
We are all made of magic and each of us is a world unto ourselves. We embody our own galaxies, ecosystems, and seasons…and isn’t that alone deserving of love? Deserving of admiration?
I certainly think so.
How are you choosing to show love to yourself? What do you admire most about YOU? Is it difficult to answer? Believe me, I understand.
Self-love is promoted everywhere lately, and often without acknowledging the challenge of LEARNING HOW to love ourselves.
Self-love isn’t about blind acceptance. It’s so much more than simply helping ourselves feel good.
It’s a skill — like anything in life — that we develop to aid in our growth as humans.
As Sensitive Souls, we might often feel compelled to give our time, energy, love, and talent — especially when we witness a darkness where giving of ourselves might shed light. We see the importance of showing up for others and often act on the discomfort of those around us before remembering to hold space for ourselves…
Consider this your reminder to show up for YOU today. Do something that is for you and you alone, and savor the YOUness of the moment.
To hear more about how I learned to show up for myself and show love for myself, check out Episode 114 of the Moon + Manifest podcast!
Follow this simple self-love ritual to help guide you into a mindset of self-love and encourage daily actions to aid in your personal growth.
Simple 5-Step Self-Love Ritual
Items you’ll need…
Note: Be sure to choose a water safe crystal! When in doubt, avoid crystals ending with “ite” and stick to quartz. Rose quartz is, of course, perfect for this ritual.
Self-Love Ritual
5 Steps to Follow
STEP ONE: Create Your Sacred Space
The first step is to find or create a space that feels calm, whether it’s a small spot on the floor of your bedroom or somewhere out in nature. You’ll want to tidy up the area physically AND spiritually.
Smoke cleansing, visualization, or using sounds like bells or singing bowls are all great ways to clear the energy of your space.
STEP TWO: Light Your Candles
As you light your first candle, repeat the phrase:
“I release all negative thought patterns about the love I have for myself.”
As the candle burns, visualize that negativity moving down the candle and into the earth where the energy will dissipate and leave only light.
As you light your second candle, repeat the phrase:
“I receive love with ease and feel safe and comfortable in my being.”
As the second candle burns, visualize the positive energy moving up through the candle flame to be released into the universe and returned to you with abundance.
Allow both candles to burn as you continue with the ritual.
STEP THREE: Write Yourself a Love Note
Grab your pen and paper and sit in your sacred space. Begin to write down your favorite things about yourself. If this is a challenge for you, try writing out your admiration as if you’re speaking to a small child. This might change your phrasing in a surprising way!
You can write about your physical appearance, your personality, your skills and talents, or how you handle adversity. Don’t limit yourself here! Give praise where praise is due. Even the tiniest detail can make a load of difference.
Once you’re finished, tuck your love note into the envelope — but don’t seal it — and set it aside.
STEP FOUR: Charge and Activate Your Crystal
This step requires your crystal, the bowl of water, and your flower petals.
Gently place the petals into the water and watch them float, carefree and soft, on the surface. Hold your crystal to your heart and visualize all your love as light surrounding the stone. Follow your intuition and once you feel the crystal is charged, place it into the water to “activate” it — this is just like charging a device and then turning it on.
Water rules our emotions, which is why we’re using it here in our self love ritual. It’s also wonderful for cleansing which can help keep negativity at bay.
STEP FIVE: Close Your Ritual
Take all the time you want to sit with your candles and other tools. When you’re finished, remove your crystal from the bowl, dry it off, and place it with your love note somewhere you can easily access it. You can keep it in a bag, in your car, on a shelf — wherever it can act as a reminder to pause and show yourself a little love.
You can choose to let your candles burn down all the way or snuff them out.
Feel free to read your love note whenever you need a boost! You can repeat this ritual as often as you like or simply add new love notes to the envelope.
As you embrace the mindset of self-love, open your heart to the excitement and curiosity that so many children have. Move forward with a willingness to learn. Acknowledge the challenges as they come but don’t let them deter you.
After all, fairytales aren’t just about magic and true love. They carry wisdom, guidance, and life lessons. Fairytales, like “real life,” are full of challenges…
They simply call them quests.
You are the main character of your story. The lover and the love interest. The hobbit and the dragon.
Lola Elle is a sacred space designer, stylist, spiritual mentor, and wellness retreat leader based in San Diego, California. When she’s not writing, supporting clients, or designing, you’ll find her on her mat or adventuring with her two kids and aviator husband.
